


A Taxing Friendship

by Aishuu



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Community: 100fandomhell, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 17:17:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3496448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aishuu/pseuds/Aishuu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Cost (with Interest) of Being Friendly Acquaintances with the Enemy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Taxing Friendship

Aziraphale and Crowley rarely ever _argued._ They'd bicker, snipe, squabble, contend, bump heads and (in Aziraphale's case) whine, but arguing was too human and there were better things to spend their time on. The one thing that ever made them come close to a true blow-up (aside from the whole End of the World thing), was tax season.

Both of them claimed credit and blamed the other for that sticky little issue. Aziraphale had been the one to institute the world's first tax system, creating it as a way to help people work together to accomplish the greater good. Crowley had then subverted it, making up things like tax codes, pork-barrel projects and auditors. They had to call the whole issue a draw, but Aziraphale gnashed his teeth privately, knowing that Crowley had obtained the victory.

The problem was based in their very natures. Crowley, as a lying-no-good-totally-morally-corrupt being, could cheerfully avoid the whole issue. Occasionally he'd even scam the system to get a tax refund he didn't deserve. 

Aziraphale, however, was on the Side of the Righteous and _had_ to set a good example. To make matters worse, he was a business owner which only made things ten times more complicated. Aziraphale managed to turn in his taxes on time every year, but that was only through judicious application of divine knowledge and minor miracles. He wondered how the poor mortals managed.

The one time Crowley tried to gloat about the whole tax mess, Aziraphale had indulged in some truly Damning language that had singed the demon back to Hell itself. Spending a month in the company of Ligur and Hastur had been enough to teach Crowley that some topics shouldn't be broached directly. And there were better ways of winning.

The next year, when Aziraphale discovered a newly introduced luxury tax, he regretted his actions. The new "owner's maintenance tax" on "religious texts of significant historical importance" was going to take a week to properly document, and cost more than his income taxes for every year of the last century combined.


End file.
